This Guy Will be Famous by the End of the Day

I have a lot in common with this guy.  For the last three days I’ve been promoting a “real powerful” snow event that was supposed to hit last night and early this morning.  Granted, I didn’t do it as eloquently as he did,  but you get the drift.  Pun intended.   This video is funny on so many levels that I lost track at level four.

I assume he’s Canadian and I appreciate that he’s looking out for the good people of Minnesota.  I grew up in Minnesota.  Long time readers of The Tales will recall that I was raised on the North Side of Stephen.  We knew a thing or two about “real powerful” storms in Stephen.  And while some areas did get some snow last night and this morning, it didn’t quite pack the punch that was predicted.

But that’s not really the point.  I think the real point is that when Minnesotans are faced with severe weather, they are going to want to order their Chinese food ahead of time.  And their pizza.  I think that’s solid advice.  And real powerful.  For Minnesota.

Without YouTube I wouldn’t have known who “Frankie” was.  Now I’m thinking about hiring him.


Some Observations

*I’m sure “The Artist” is a great movie, but it’s probably not for me.

*We have been so blizzard deprived this winter in the Upper Midwest that I think we’re all going to be crestfallen if this snow event misses us.

*”The Departed” is an underrated movie.

*Joel Zumaya’s career with the Twins lasted 13 pitches.  If you think about it, he probably would fit in pretty well with last year’s team.

*I actually thought the Ellen Degeneres commercials during the Academy Awards were more entertaining than the show itself.

Random Thursday

*So they’re dusting off Billy Crystal for the Academy Awards?  No offense, but could they possibly try someone like Will Ferrell or Steve Carell?

*I have watched more Minnesota Timberwolves basketball in the last week than I have in the previous five years combined.

*I was excited that my snow blower still worked after a winter of inactivity.

*Reggie Tales shout out to my good friend Jeff D. at UND.  He recently married.  I had the pleasure of meeting his wife and let’s just say that Jeff definitely married up.  He out-kicked his coverage.  Congrats, buddy!

*Word came into The Tales this week that Danielle the Dog Groomer paid a visit to Summer Summer Sidekick’s dog, Lucy.  Apparently all went well.

Elton John

Ralph Engelstad Arena announced today that singer Elton John will make his first appearance in Grand Forks on March 24th.  If memory serves me correct, he’s played the Fargodome twice, and I was at each of  those concerts.  The second of which was his huge tour with fellow piano man Billy Joel.  Both shows were incredible.

My affinity for Elton John is due in large part to growing up in a household where his records were played non-stop by Bro#3.  Additionally, quizzes were given concerning album titles, song titles, lyrics, Bernie Taupin and anything else relating to John.  The result of which is I know more about Reginald Kenneth Dwight than the average person.

And that’s a good thing in my book.  Thanks Bro#3.

My favorite Elton John song is “Someone Saved My Life Tonight.”  Here he is singing it at Madison Square Garden in 2000:

Random Thursday

*How could Jeremy Lin play for three or four NBA teams without anyone realizing his talent?  Don’t they ever practice?  Wouldn’t it have been obvious?  I get the feeling he never got a chance, even in practice.

*The Minnesota Wild have very little “high end” talent.  Zach Parise is a free agent after this season.  You do the math.

*When I see highlights of the Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast at the Fargodome it makes me hungry.

*Reggie Tales shout out to Adam in West Fargo.

*Birthday wishes to the best Sheriff in all of North Dakota and all-around good guy, Bob Rost.

Grooming Day = Success

CJ, left; Danielle the Dog Groomer, right. And no, that's not a noose around CJ's neck.

An historic event took place yesterday:  CJ successfully underwent a haircut and pedicure (or is it peticure?).  What made it historic is that it was the first time in four years that CJ has been to the same dog groomer on consecutive visits.  Actually, we didn’t make the visit because Danielle the Dog Groomer makes house calls.  So we both paced the floor waiting to see if she would actually show up.  And when she did, we both raced to the door.  Me to greet her, and CJ to bite her.

But a funny thing happened when he saw her and she greeted him with her English accent:  he somehow recalled her from four months ago and gave her a free pass.  To her credit, Danielle laughed heartily as she recalled her previous appointment with CJ.  Within minutes she had him up on the table and I was out the door.  Keep in mind that in the past I’ve been called repeatedly by dog groomers to return to the scene of the crime.

But not yesterday.  In fact, when my work day was over, I returned home to find a very happy and well-groomed shih tzu.  And as I looked around the counter for a note that surely would read, “Please don’t call me again,” I instead found Danielle the Dog Groomer’s business card.

See you in four months!

The "After" photo. A thoughtful CJ ponders the day's events. He also ponders the pizza box on the counter.

Random Thursday

*Big day at the Home Office of The Tales (HOTT).  CJ the dog is patiently awaiting the arrival of his own personal groomer.  Remember the nice English lady that makes house calls?  She actually agreed to give CJ a proper haircut and manicure for a second time.  This is the first time in four years he will be seeing the same groomer on back to back occasions.

*Apparently Ricky Rubio was worth the wait.

*Reggie Tales shout out to Erin in Devils Lake!

*My pie ranking:  1.  Pecan  2.  Apple  3.  Banana Cream

Reviewed: The Descendants

I finally went to a movie the other night.  It had been a while.  I think I had seen such a bad stretch of movies that I had lost all faith in humanity and Hollywood, which are basically the same thing.  Anyway, I picked the new George Clooney film “The Descendants” as my slump buster.

And I’m glad I did.

If you’re looking for a movie where things blow up, cars crash, or people shoot each other, then skip “The Descendants.”

If you’re looking for a smart, witty, insightful, thought-provoking, sometimes sad, sometimes funny movie, then do yourself a favor and check out “The Descendants.”

Set in Hawaii, Clooney plays an un-Clooney-like character attempting to lead his family through a difficult situation.  The plot has as many twists and turns as the Road to Hana on Maui, which apparently has something like 690 turns.  Anyway, this dialogue driven film could very well earn Clooney an Oscar.  Every once in a while you can watch a famous actor on the big screen and forget that you’re watching the actor.  This is one of those rare movies.  He’s that good.

This movie also includes some very good child actors.  I don’t know their names but I’m sure we all will in about a year.

The Descendants:  4 out of 5 stars.

Carmike 10.  No pop.  No popcorn.  It was a late movie.  I just didn’t feel like it.

Super Bowl Leftovers

*It’s become obvious to me that advertisers are so afraid of offending anyone that the commercials are no longer funny.  The nearest I came to laughing out loud was the dog that bribed his owner with a bag of Doritos over the disappearance of the cat.  I remember when the game itself was boring and the commercials were the best part.  That changed a few years ago.

*The last time singer M.I.A. was relevant she was performing while nine months pregnant at the Grammys about five years ago.  So in an attempt to remind people that she’s still alive, she displayed her middle finger during Madonna’s halftime show.  Yawn.  I’m not sure if M.I.A. stands for Missing In Action, but it fits.

*Speaking of Madonna, I actually enjoyed the show.  And I’m not a Madonna fan.  I thought it was wise of her to have an overly-choreographed production so as trick people into not noticing that it was lip-synched.  I also like the curly haired guy bouncing on the wire.  His hair was fierce, and he had mad bouncing skills.

*The NFL used to be about running the ball and playing defense.  Used to be.  It is no longer that.  It is now about having a star quarterback, and passing, and athletic receivers.  See where I’m going with this, Vikings fans?  We’re not even close.

*Dan Patrick is the best in the business of live television.  Equal parts wit, comedy, and sports knowledge.