Open Letter to Jim Thome

Well, maybe not an open letter to Jim Thome, because if your name isn’t Jim Thome, please stop reading.  Thank you.

Dear Jim,

I don’t normally write letters to ballplayers.  Well, at least not for many years.  There was a time in the late 80’s when I wrote several letters a week to Kirby Puckett.  But I digress.  I understand that you recently received some interest from the Texas Rangers.  You can’t be serious.  I hope that you’re not actually considering their offer!  We need you to finish your career in Minnesota.  And you need to finish your career in Minnesota!  Just think how hot and gross it will be playing in front of 20,000 people who are fanning themselves, sweating profusely, and not paying any attention to the game because they are melting.  And just think, how comfortable are you going to be?  You don’t seem like the kind of guy that would enjoy 103 degrees.  I know you spend a lot of time sitting in the shade of the dugout, but just imagine having to run around all the bases on a sweltering day following another mammoth home run.

I also ask that you consider that we (yes, we.  I consider myself a part of the Minnesota Twins organization) welcomed you to the club last year when no one else wanted you.  And it seemed like you had a good time.

So in conclusion, let’s put all this nonsense behind us and get that contract signed with the Twins.  It’s a fair deal and you won’t have to be sweaty all summer.

Your friend,

Reggie Tales

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4 thoughts on “Open Letter to Jim Thome

  1. Doesn’t Jim Thome look like he’d fit in well on the Florian slowpitch softball team?

    • Ron Magnusson. Ronnie. Averaged a home run every 3.1 at-bats during his Warren Softball League career. A very likable fellow. Always very happy. A cross between Babe Ruth and Jim Thome.

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